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Disabled couple problems because of finances
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December 18, 2001, 10:12:28 AM
­ Dear MaryAnne,
My wife and I are disabled, and are on a fixed income. We are in debt,and don't know what to do. My wife is in the hospital reght now. She has had a new hip put in. The reason we are in debt is my wife(behind my back)went and bought a lot of things. Now the car needs $750.00 of work on it and we don't have the money. She said I should leave her. I would be better on my own. It is true I would BUT I love her. We have been married for 18 years, and it hasn't been easy. She doesn't do the things she should. She thinks she deserves these things. Weather we can aford them or not.
I don't want to leave her I love her. What can I do, and how do I do it? Please help. I thought of taking my life to stop it but my faith in God stops me, but my faith is falling and I am afraid. PLEASE HELP!!!

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December 18, 2001, 10:15:37 AM
#1
­ Mark:

I am so sorry that you are in such a terrible state with your marriage and finances. I am also disabled and on a very fixed income so I know what you live with except for your wife’s part.
Well, Mark suicide is not an option in your case. If you were dying or a terrible disease, yes but to get away from a marital problem, no that is just a terrible reason to think of it.
First, can you not take over all the finances? Make it to where she gives you her check and you be the only one on the bank accounts? Then you give her an allowance every week? I would sit her down when she gets better and do that. Tell her you love her and that you need to work this out so you can continue to love her and stay together but you can’t go down the financial hole with her.
I think if you took over that would be it other than you having to listen to her being upset about you not giving her enough money. But you can deal with that later. Let’s first get your finances straightened out.
For now, as far as being in debt I would contact one of the legitimate consumer debt companies that the government runs where they will take all your debts and put you on a budget, they control your money and they call and negotiate with all the debts and get you a reduced amount to pay and a payment that you can handle.
You take them all your bills and your finances like how much each of you gets and they speak on your behalf to the bill people and as I say they work out a lower amount for you to have to pay back and then a payment you can handle. They control your finances until you have your debts paid off. They also would teach your wife how to change some and maybe handle money better because they will not be giving her much allowance until all the bills are paid.
But only go through the ones run by the government. You could call any consumer action, or consumer debt helpers look in the phone book or go to a search engine and put it in and you will find them. They are in every normal size town and some small towns.
Oh by the way God hasn’t let you down, you just aren’t listening and who knows maybe God had you write me. Don’t ever blame our shortcomings on God as he is always there for you unconditionally, he just gave us free will and it is your wife who did this. God is there to listen and support you but like me he isn’t going to give you the money because of the lessons to learn. Otherwise I would be rich. Keep your faith he is still walking with you, just quiet your mind so you can hear him.
Those are your to options that I see and then you can take finances out of the love and just enjoy loving your wife and living life.
I hope I have helped, let me know how it turns out,
If I can help you anymore just write me,
God Bless you both,
MaryAnne

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Where you know you can come for Professional, personal, right on target advice, life skills, crisis intervention,ask questions, confide in guaranteed help. With all the traps, scams, perverts and sites out there that are very unsafe, this site is your safe place. I have been doing this for 10 years.