I am a 22 yr. old female, in love and going crazy. I've been dealing with a 35 yr. old man for approximately a year and a half now, and our entire relationship has been filled with drama, broken promises, chaos, lack of trust, and lack of communication. We pursued this relationship very quickly. After a month of dating we moved in together, and after three months of living together I got pregnant. I now have a beautiful four month old baby boy. Both my son's father and myself are very afraid to leave the relationship but we both know in our minds that we should not be together (at least not right now). We have been physically, mentally, emotionally, and verbally abusive to one another since we moved in together, but we are still trying to hold on. We are numb to any pain or hurt that now comes into the relationship. I don't hate him and want to please him deeply, but I do find reasons to hate him when he says he doesn't want to be with me anymore. Although I love my child unconditionally I hate that I had a child with him. Our once a week arguments are now turning into every two or three day arguments. I'm truly afraid to loose him and see someone else please him the way that I know I can.He is very bitter because of our relationship and has a huge problem trusting me (it's justifiable), and in some areas of our relationship the feeling is mutual. I'm very confused, and scared. I don't know what to do. Should I put forth more effort to do what I can to reconnect us to one another, ex. showing that I can be trusted, respecting him, and supporting him, or should I just let it go. If I should help him to trust me, how do I? And if I should let go,, how do I? Please help me.
Confused, Scared, and In Love
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