­I'm new here, and i'm just looking for some advice as what to do. To start off, i'm 15, and i suffer from depression and anxiety. Lately its gotten much worse and i've been feeling so low for a few weeks now. The thing is that my life is absolutely wonderful, I get striaght A's, have a supportive boyfriend, am starting up my own sewing/screen printing business. But even though I have no reason to feel so depressed i still am. I used to get really excited about doing things, but lately i haven't, i've dreaded getting out of bed each day, and all i want to do is sleep. I know it will pass, this has happened before I don't want to tell anyone about how low i've been feeling because i don't want to make a big deal about it, and mess up how great the rest of my life is. My boyfriend, knows about how i feel but i'm tired of making him worry about me, when i feel low, he feels low too. I also cut myself, just for relief from the anxiety attacks. I know its not healthy, but its not out of control or anything, i don't cut my wrists, only on my hips, where underwear or a swimsuit would cover. after two years even my doctor hasn't noticed yet. I think it would be nice to have someone to talk to about how i'm feeling that i'm detached from, like a therapist but i really don't want to talk to my parents about geting one, i hate the way my dad looks when he's worried about me. I don't want to cause any trouble, so i'm not sure what to do, What do you think?

­sometimes relationships shrival up, people don't feel the same any more. Distance can make the heart sad and people cope with it in all different ways. His way seems to suggest that he misses you. Because of the time apart from each other, everytime he hears from you by phone, he needs to have a big converstaion, he needs to hear laughter and compliments and big love. It needs to be addressed to him deeper than if you were face to face to show your love. You can't be with him to cuddle him physically so he needs a phone cuddle, he needs a good talk. Take a deep breath when you next speak to him, say what is on your mind, tell him about how you feel, that you feel un-able to speak to him about stuff because you don't know what to say, because it's been a long while since last speaking to you/seeing you,and that's why you find it hard to find the right words, or that you like him so much, it makes you tounge tied. Tell him that you don't wish to give up on him. He will want to hear it. Because a) you will be talking and having something to say, and b) he will see that you are opening up to him and he will appreciate that, it may even get you closer again.
On the other hand, if he doesn't feel the same way anymore, then you will have to accept that it's time to move on with 'your' life.
You can't live a life on egg shells not knowing what to do, or live your life in a dream of you both being how you used to be. Because people change and you may need to face this challenge.
There's two ways in life. Living with it or dealing with it.
And there's only one way to find out.
The best of luck to you anyway, give it ya best shot!


xxx H:Kevill xxx

­Alright here's the story. I have this ex-boyfriend and he had to move away but hes comein back in the summer, for good. Me and him made promises to each other that when he gets back we'd start datein again, so I thought ok, 8 mouths away, I can do that. We talked almost everyday but as time passed we stopped. Now we barely talk and when we do, I have nothing to say. I love and miss him soo much!! When we talked last he called me and asked for a number for one of my best friends . He didnt wanna talk to me, he just asked if i had anything to talk about this time, and of course i didnt. So he wanted to go and I waz kinda hurt, we both hung up but no goodbye, nothin. I'm worried I'll never be close to him again. I want him to know how I feel and I want to talk about something interesting so we can talk longer than like 5 min. HEEELP!!

woooow....

­Well. His gf cheated on him about 2 weeks ago. We hung out the next night. I didn't know they had broekn up until I got there, and he told me what happeend... It was halloween weekend, but there is no excuse for cheating. So anyways, I was there and suppose to go to dance, but he told me he wanted me to stay for a movie because he wanted someone to hang out for a bit cause he didn't go out all day. So i stayed. and then he kissed me... not anything too long. but it was a few more then a peck... then he turned over and said "being responsible adults, we should move slowly because i just came out of a relationship". i thought that was nice of him to say. but i could see in his eyes he sorta felt bad for doing it. so the rest of the night was ok. So then a few days later we talked and he apologized for kissing me. not that he didnt want to, but that he felt weird after because hes not really looking for a gf at the moment. So he is a single good looking guy, and of course he lives on residence, so he has kissed other people and told me that with them its different because its like one night things. and that with them it means nothing cause they were never close friends. he told me he didnt want to do anything more with me, because i am very close to him and doesnt want to ruin soemthing thta may happen. Im not jealous of the people he has kissed and stuff because i have no control over him, and he sees that, i suprised him because of that. he thought i would... so he was like testing me see what i would say. but you see i see it as this "hes single, good looking, every girl wants him, hes at the age he wants attention" so nobody has him on a leash. what happenes is made private. i respect that. so anyways... things are great between us tho, he tells me everything. and is very honest. we hang out every sunday and watch movies, do nothing not even kiss, i love it. it makes me know he respects me. right? i think things are good for now. but like you said time is the only thing that can tell what will happen. but like i say "everything worth while takes time"...
Thank you

­ Blondie:

I thank essentials for responding and wish more kids would respond to the forum. If anyone has any insight for Blondie or any other letter on the forum please write. That is what it is up here for, peer feedback, not so much mine as you can get that privately but we all want to know what our peers think so write and help each other. Thank you. MA

I don't have much to add except that I know the feelings you are having and you will have them about many things in life. To feel as you do, you are a very sensitive person which means you will feel the effects of life more than most people. Life is ever changing and people will come in and out of our lives as they are needed and necessary. From experience of being like you I learned it wasn't so bad once I accepted the fact that nothing was permanent including life itself. Things are never as black and white as we imagine them when we feel them before they become a reality. I hate change that is part of the sensitivity I am talking about. I wanted all the same people to stay in my life, in certain roles and everything to stay a certain way. Well of course it didn't as life is ever evolving for everyone and it surely didn't revolve around me . I use to get so upset at the thought of my parents leaving me, my brother finding a girl and getting married and me ending up all alone. But things don't work quite that harshly. Your sister's life will change of course she will have a husband who will come before you as he should but she will always need you in her life because there are just certain things men can not fulfill for women just as there are some things that women can not fulfill for men. So your sister will always be your best friend and she will confide in you and share things that only another female can understand. When she has children your life should be filled with either work or school and friends but you will still be apart of your sister's life where she will include you in the raising of her children. You will feel apart of them because they will be your blood too . It will sort of evolve over time to where you will be able to adjust to the changes. But the most important thing to remember is that your life is going to change as you age also and what seemed so important to you now will be in a different perspective as you grow older and your life changes. I promise "life-works" just as it should and that you can learn to adjust to the changes and the changes are not as abrupt or black and white as your fears see them. They evolve over time where you can handle the changes and the changes won't be as painful as you imagine them or as extreme as you imagine.
But the most important part is that as you grow up you will also have life changes which will make other people's life changes not so important to you to where you get so upset.
Last but not least talk to your sister and just tell her how important your relationship with her is and how you hope she will help you keep the relationship as close as possible after she marries. Just tell her how you feel and ask her how she sees things changing after she marries. She is your best friend so you should be able to talk to her about this. I think if you do you will find she will reassure you and lessen your fears. Try it you have nothing to lose.
Let us know what happens and if you can see how things won't be as abrupt as you imagine.
Just know I know how you feel but it will turn out ok because your life evolves too in time all changes settle down and we do adapt to them. We can choose to make the best of the new life change brings or we can choose to make it a hardship which is of no use as we all want happiness, peace and love. To get these gifts from life we must be open to change and remember it will be us sometimes and sometimes the other person but it all balances out and works out.
Talk to your sister, let us know how it goes,
Mary-Anne