­My girlfriend and I have been going out for 3 months now and recently we have been spending every day of the week together. Don't get me wrong, I have very positively strong feelings for her, but many times it feels like its too much. I just dont know how to tell her that we need to break it up and spend maybe every other day together. But i can't tell her that, because she is very sensitive and will probably start crying. I just want to know if there is a good way or how I can tell her what I am feeling without making her sad and feel like i dont care about her. thanks

joey green

­ Dear Joey;

First i would like to apologize for taking so long to respond, Mary-Anne and i are both extremely busy and both thought the other was answering you. So here goes.

You sound like you care about your girlfriend alot. However it is perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed by spending every day together. You are only young and its understandable to want to take it slower and have the relationship more casual and carefree. So You say you like spending time with your girlfriend but would like to spend every other day with her, so this you have to talk to her about.

You said that your scared she will get upset and cry. Well i can't tell you how she will react and you can not control her feelings, however you still need to talk to her about it. Explain to her that you care for her very much and enjoy spending time with her, however you feel its too much, too fast and would like to take it a bit slower and not spend so much time together. Remind her that you are still young and have plenty of time to get serious later on. tell her it is nothing to do with her and you dont want her to change at all, but you simply need more time and space for yourself. you are doing the right thing by her by telling her how you feel, instead of just going along with it. you have to be true to yourself. if you go on and just continue feeling overwhelmed, you will build up more and more negative feelings towards the relationship and your girlfriend and may end up resenting the relationship. so dont ignore your feelings and needs ok.

Also, when you have your own life and things away from your girlfriend, you bring more to your relationship. For one you have more to talk about and it keeps the relationship fun and interesting when your not with them every second of the day.

The only really good way to tell her all this is by being honest and telling her how u feel and reassuring her that your not ditching her altogether. Now if she cries, dont feel bad. alot of people are scared to tell loved ones how they feel because they dont want to make them cry, but one thing i want you to know is that its ok to cry. some people just express themselves that way. you said that she is sensitive and may cry, then that is ok because that is just the way she deals with things. remember you have done nothing wrong so dont feel bad.

Well good luck and i hope it all works out for you.

Take care.
*Tina*