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Labeled Unfairly Need Help on how to make it stop
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December 18, 2001, 09:35:27 AM
­ Dear Maryanne,
I have a real problem, I am a normal male teenager, but the problem is i haven't gone through puberty yet. So which leaves my voice not very low. I have been made fun of many many times. I also enjoy hangingout wih my friends and the maujurity of my frieds tha are girls are probably 97%. So basically i like hanging out with girls. Anyways, peopl from my school torment me, they make fun of my voice,kefun of my friends, and make fun of me for having so many female friends. One day, I was walking from school the other day ad on a wall was a pharse that said in pecil"JEFFREY IS GAY" I saw that and i almost immediately beagn to cry because it hurts truy so much when people make fun of you and tretimes i may be somewhat mean and maybe this is my consequencce. But Maryanne, please tell mehow to get rid of this problem and please tell me to help myself ignore them, and should to to my gudance counslors at school or not?
Please write back

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December 18, 2001, 09:42:53 AM
#1
­ Jeffery:

I wish you had said how old you are that would have helped. But anyway as I told you I went through years of being laughed at, picked on and had no friends at least you have girls. And that is more of what this is about even though you may not be able to see it. You spend most of your time with girls and these guys are jealous so they have to make you gay, how else can they rationalize to themselves, that you can get in with all the girls and they can’t. And you haven’t even become a macho man yet. See my point? Let me tell you I get lots of letters from teens and lots of them are guys and they tell me what they would die before they would let anyone know. So I speak the truth from experience. They are afraid of girls because they don’t want to be rejected but yet they want them because they well are horny or like the girl. But then you come along Jeffery, a guy who isn’t macho like I said and they measure everything against this macho male thing. They believe it is more important to impress the guys than a girl and the only thing that impresses a guy they think is how much he can prove he can “take it” and is a “man” like I mean no crying, doesn’t give in to girls, stand offish, they say a lot about what he can do and has done which isn’t true. You get the picture. So again here you are you come in and 97% of your friends are girls. Why do the girls like you so much? That is what they are asking, and the only answer can be that you are “safe” because you are gay. What else are they supposed to do with it, say that you have something they don’t jeez Jeffery that would kill them.
So you tell me knowing this information can you live with what is happening to you? Or do you need to have a counselor? Some guys can take it and just know underneath that it is because the guys are jealous. I have another guy in the same situation as you except different reason for being with all girls. Anyway he just really gets along with them better and boy he is getting it too. So it is happening and it has nothing to do with you as far as anything being wrong with you. It is really up to you, how secure are you and how much can you take Jeffery?
If like this other guy you can see that this is what it is and just go on with your friends and have a good time maybe even smiling at them letting them know that they are not getting to you, you can be ok. Otherwise I would either write me and we will work something else out because I have lots of angles on this since I had to learn how to survive.
Just let me know, or you can go to the counselor at school to see if they can help.
I am here for you if you need me, I hope this helps some,
MaryAnne

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Where you know you can come for Professional, personal, right on target advice, life skills, crisis intervention,ask questions, confide in guaranteed help. With all the traps, scams, perverts and sites out there that are very unsafe, this site is your safe place. I have been doing this for 10 years.