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On line love can it be real?
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March 14, 2002, 09:04:16 PM
­ Dear MaryAnne,
Hi! I am new to this so i hope you will be patient with me.
my problem is this: is online love possible?
i met this guy in a chatsite 5 months ago, but i do not know if he
and i love each other in the real sense, meaning, if we met in reality.
although i am older than him, we live apart. he is in UK and i live in
asia. there are plans to visit in the near future, but anything can
happen.
i know the limitations. we become real only when we open the computer
and start chatting. after that, we go our separate ways.
should i stop this once and for all?
please help!
sincerely,
infanta45

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March 14, 2002, 09:05:14 PM
#1
­ Isabel:

Why do you feel you need to stop this once and for all? Sounds like someone or one’s are influencing you? What is wrong with leaving things as they are and then meeting in the near future to find out if he is your Mr. Right? You won’t be happy or able to lay this to rest with any kind of closure unless you do follow it to meeting.
My only caution is that if you haven’t heard there are terrible horror stories about women meeting men on the net and meeting them and being raped, almost killed or killed. So even though you “think” you know him, believe me in my profession I can say without doubt none of us really knows anybody. Set it up that you take a friend with you at all times, or meet only in public at all times, don’t let him stay with you so he can go through your things or steal from you. Just be very cautious it is important because the stories are getting worse and more frequent. I wouldn’t be so adamant except for one story where they conversed for 3 years I mean you would think you know someone after 3 years on a net relationship but when he came to be with her, oh my God I saw her when he got done with her. I am a nurse and I have never seen anything so horrid. So don’t think I am over reacting it happens.
But it can also be that he is real and you may be right for each other or even just friends and have a great time together.
Now that the Internet has taken down all the borders that kept us marrying only those around us in our little world we now have the freedom to meet people who may be more compatible than anyone we would have married before the Internet. The Internet as with everything can be used for good and for evil.
You will have to study in between the lines and I am sure you talk on the phone or voice chat. In my profession doing this I am able to figure out almost every one in one email which is usually only a couple of paragraphs. Now I wouldn’t say I know them intimately plus they open up more but still I know you can get a lot from words. I can get feelings, sense things, and even react to the person’s situation and cry for them not by the words but by the energy that the words were written with.
I can’t answer your question because it is your relationship and your life but I can say what I did and remind you that you won’t be able to let it go until you meet and find out so just set it up so that you are safe and just do it. What if he is all that he appears to be? What if it is love? If you stay safe Isabel what do you have to lose by corresponding with this love of yours and meeting him. You already feel you are in love so you will be hurt either way. So I don’t see that you have anything to lose and everything (maybe) to gain by meeting him and seeing what you feel. I think you know what you feel and maybe that is why you are questioning maybe it isn’t other people making you question. Maybe you are questioning. If you are, then you need to sit down and figure out what it is and the base your decision on that.
If this is build on other people’s opinions then forget it and keep going.
If it is you always trust your gut feelings and find out what is wrong. Maybe you feel he isn’t what he appears to be. If you find this is coming from you write me I can help you work it out. If you inside feel good about it all but are feeling peer pressure or family pressure then go for it.
Let me know, I am interested in which one it is and what you decide,
Remember I am here and am willing always to help
MaryAnne

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Where you know you can come for Professional, personal, right on target advice, life skills, crisis intervention,ask questions, confide in guaranteed help. With all the traps, scams, perverts and sites out there that are very unsafe, this site is your safe place. I have been doing this for 10 years.