dear Mary Ann
There are nights when I really stresses out. These nights all have in common that I am alone in our flat and my boyfriend is out partying with his friends. The enormous feeling of being left out and abandoned is not anything new to me, it happend all the time in my childhood. Since then I have gone to a counseler and life have been much better since. But, these specific nights is too much for me. Unwillingly I give my boyfriend hugh guiltrips for leaving me behind, even though I really really want him to have a great time. I climb the walls at home, unable to concentrate on anything and when he finally comes home, I have worked myself up so much that it takes days for both of us to come down to normal. I would really like to be able to enjoy a night by myself even though he is out at the pub. Like tonight, I am not in the mood for company, but there is no chance in heaven that I could sit down and relax. It is not a fear of him being unfaithful, more a feeling of claustrofobia that is driving me nuts! Being with friends helps, but it only makes me forget the agony, it is not curing it. Please give me some advice!!!!!
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