­ok..2 years ago, i met a girl named susan. she was new to the town and school. the first week i met her, i started to go out with her. that only lasted for 2-3 weeks. it wasnt that big of a deal. we didnt talk for almost 8 months. i started calling her again and we didnt really have anything more than a friendship. after talkin to her as friends, our feelings kinda came back for one another. we didnt do anything about it for a while because she was kind of serious with another boy. we kept talkin for a while, and became the best of friends. we would always be talkin, always hanging out, always together. we truly were best friends. after her and the boy she was serious with stopped talkin, we gave it a shot. we got serious n talked for about 2 months. the problem is, i am one of those boys who gets extremely jealous if she hangs out with another boy. i kno all the boys like her, so it made it even harded for me to deal with the fact that she was hanging out with other boys. im not saying i dont trust her, but i dont trust the boys. after 2 months passed, she told me since school was coming up, she didnt wanna be serious with any 1 so she wanted a break. then 2 weeks later, she started talking to another boy and i got really jealous. and jealously leads to madness. i flipped out on her, and she sed that chagned her feelings for me completely. she stopped talking to that by, and she got over me getting mad, and we were best friends again. then she started going out with another boy, and still goes out with him until this day. i dont know wut to do. im inlove with this girl. i dont wanna lose her or our friendship. its hard to even imagine her with another boy. she says that i got to deal with it someday, so why not start now, but it isnt that easy. she knows how i feel about her, and she knows it hurts me to see her with other boys. i need to find a way to get her back, or i need to find a way to get her out of my life, because the pain i go through breaks my heart. please help me. i kno the story is confuing and i probably left a couple parts out, but cope with me on this one. please help me..thank you

edward t maurer

­ Edward,

well! as a 19 yr old female, i know ALL about jealous boys and boyfriends! lets see if if can help.

so u say uve know this girl for 2 years and u guys are real good friends. its hard when u are so close with someone and feel so much for them. u never want that bond to deteriorate.

i have had boyfriends who were so scared of losing me and our friendship that they did exactly what u did.they flipped! went crazy and didnt want any other boys near me! most of my mates are guys and i resented him trying to stop me from seeing them.it pushed me away. i started to lie to him and tell him i was going shopping with girlfriends whenever i wanted to see my guy friends, cause i didnt want to have a fight every time i wanted to see my friends! i felt like i couldnt be straight with him, and i hated that.

so she told u that her feelings for u had changed after u flipped.she may of lost alot of trust in u. see girls wants their boyfriend to be a safe place for them. someone they cant turn to and talk to. they want support and understanding.when a guy gets mad at me and threatens me and tells me to stop seeing my mates, the last thing i feel for him is romanticly in love! those are just the things that would scare me and push me away.

so ok,after u got mad she stopped talking to that boy and u were friends again. but u have to realize, shes not a toy. u dont own her. she has the right to talk to whoever she wants. i know u dont trust the other guys, and maybe scared that she will get hurt. but u cant protect people all their life. think of how u feel when ur parents try to stop u from going out or doing something u really want to do because theyre worried its dangerous. how much do u resent them and feel like ur being treated like a little kid. thats probably how susan is feelin when u try to stop her from seeing other guys.

i know how scheming and manipulative guys can be, and im one of the girls, like susan who has always had guys after her, single or not. if i were my boyfriend, i wouldnt trust the other guys either!

but what i really want to know is, what is it that u are really scared about. when shes talking to other guys, what is going through ur head? is it a fear that she will find someone else and become real close with them and forget about u. are u scared of losing ur friendship? or are u scared for her safety. i think u really need to sit down with urself and think about what it is that buggs u so much that she talks to other guys. once u figure this out, i think if u explain ur feelings to her and ur fears, she will respect u for that. if u want to be together with her again, the jealousy has to go.

Now u are not together and u cannot force it. all u can do, is tell her how u feel, and what u feel when u get so jealous. i know u get jealous because u care so much for her, but u have to stop or else u might push her away enough to lose her completely. so tell her how much u care for her and if there is a chance that u can get back together. if she still does not feel that way for u anymore, then u have to leave it alone. u can not force someone to feel something for u. i know u had it once before, but that doesnt mean if u force it enough it will come back. these things have to happen naturally.
if she doesnt want to get back with u, then u need to decide if u can still be such close friends without it tearing u to shreads. maybe u might need some time apart first and give urself time to heal before u become close friends again. i know its real hard to stay close friends with someone uve jsut broken up with.

so be patient, listen to urself and tell her how u feel. accept her feelings and dont try to push anything. i know u dont want to lose her completely. so respect her feelings and wishes and communicate with her, and i think that will help build a much stronger friendship.

good luck with it all. i hope this wasnt too confusing.let me know how it goes.

Take care.
*Tina*

­tina,thanks for everything..i just read what you wrote, so i cant tell ya how things r gonna go yet..but im goin to try to use ur advice the best i can.ur right. the whole jealousy thing and tryin to control who she is with has to stop. thanks tina. i will write back when i find out how things r gonna work out..again, thanks a lot! eddie!

edward t maurer