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21
Site/Forum Technical Issues and Announcements / To users of the previous forum...
« Last post by MaryAnne on December 19, 2007, 02:31:26 AM »
If you previously had a username,  your username will have been transferred to this new forum system, along with your registered email address, postings, etc.

However, your password was most likely not transferred, and so you will need to request a new password using the 'Forgot your password?' link, also available here . This process will simply email a new password to the email address you gave us when you originally registered.
When you receive the new password at that email address, you can then log in (and then change the password back to your usual/old one, if you wish).

If you have changed email address since you signed up for your old account, you will need to sign up for a fresh account.

22
Mental and Emotional Health Questions / not sure what to do with myself.
« Last post by leman on July 02, 2007, 07:42:59 PM »
­I'm new here, and i'm just looking for some advice as what to do. To start off, i'm 15, and i suffer from depression and anxiety. Lately its gotten much worse and i've been feeling so low for a few weeks now. The thing is that my life is absolutely wonderful, I get striaght A's, have a supportive boyfriend, am starting up my own sewing/screen printing business. But even though I have no reason to feel so depressed i still am. I used to get really excited about doing things, but lately i haven't, i've dreaded getting out of bed each day, and all i want to do is sleep. I know it will pass, this has happened before I don't want to tell anyone about how low i've been feeling because i don't want to make a big deal about it, and mess up how great the rest of my life is. My boyfriend, knows about how i feel but i'm tired of making him worry about me, when i feel low, he feels low too. I also cut myself, just for relief from the anxiety attacks. I know its not healthy, but its not out of control or anything, i don't cut my wrists, only on my hips, where underwear or a swimsuit would cover. after two years even my doctor hasn't noticed yet. I think it would be nice to have someone to talk to about how i'm feeling that i'm detached from, like a therapist but i really don't want to talk to my parents about geting one, i hate the way my dad looks when he's worried about me. I don't want to cause any trouble, so i'm not sure what to do, What do you think?
23
Teens with boyfriend and girlfriend problems / ­thank u soo much, itz been
« Last post by foo_foo973 on March 03, 2007, 06:21:59 PM »
­thank u soo much, itz been a while since i accually wrote that and since then ive been thinkin... i dont accually like him as much as i used to. if i did that i might fall back in luv with him but i wanna be friends. i accually met another guy im datein now and i luv him soo much. im accually gonna be his sons mom and i luv his son. so im happier than i ever thought i could be. but thnx for the advice, maybe ill do that the next time i talk to him.

woooow....
24
Teens with boyfriend and girlfriend problems / ­sometimes relationships
« Last post by hkevill on February 26, 2007, 01:50:30 PM »
­sometimes relationships shrival up, people don't feel the same any more. Distance can make the heart sad and people cope with it in all different ways. His way seems to suggest that he misses you. Because of the time apart from each other, everytime he hears from you by phone, he needs to have a big converstaion, he needs to hear laughter and compliments and big love. It needs to be addressed to him deeper than if you were face to face to show your love. You can't be with him to cuddle him physically so he needs a phone cuddle, he needs a good talk. Take a deep breath when you next speak to him, say what is on your mind, tell him about how you feel, that you feel un-able to speak to him about stuff because you don't know what to say, because it's been a long while since last speaking to you/seeing you,and that's why you find it hard to find the right words, or that you like him so much, it makes you tounge tied. Tell him that you don't wish to give up on him. He will want to hear it. Because a) you will be talking and having something to say, and b) he will see that you are opening up to him and he will appreciate that, it may even get you closer again.
On the other hand, if he doesn't feel the same way anymore, then you will have to accept that it's time to move on with 'your' life.
You can't live a life on egg shells not knowing what to do, or live your life in a dream of you both being how you used to be. Because people change and you may need to face this challenge.
There's two ways in life. Living with it or dealing with it.
And there's only one way to find out.
The best of luck to you anyway, give it ya best shot!


xxx H:Kevill xxx
25
Teens with boyfriend and girlfriend problems / ­ok I'm on the computer
« Last post by foo_foo973 on February 19, 2007, 03:19:12 PM »
­ok I'm on the computer alot, Im heavy, I'll admit it. You lack social skills, you dont need to be a very social person to love sum1 and if you wanna date just to have sex then u mine as well forget it. Not every girl u'll ever meet is automatically interested in that. You dont have to be mr.popular to have a girl like u. If u have to be sumthin ur not just for a girl, then shes not worth ur time. oOo yea just so u no, there is nuttin wrong with sum cartoons =P.. heck i even watch cartoons, there cute. lol. You dont date sum1 for life, there r ppl who dont usually last that long, u last life long if u rly luv each other. I'm srry if i offend u in anyway, I just wanted u to no all that. if u wanna gf, make some girly friends and work ya way up, theyll end up rly liken u.

woooow....
26
Teens with boyfriend and girlfriend problems / i need help...so confused
« Last post by foo_foo973 on February 19, 2007, 03:04:51 PM »
­Alright here's the story. I have this ex-boyfriend and he had to move away but hes comein back in the summer, for good. Me and him made promises to each other that when he gets back we'd start datein again, so I thought ok, 8 mouths away, I can do that. We talked almost everyday but as time passed we stopped. Now we barely talk and when we do, I have nothing to say. I love and miss him soo much!! When we talked last he called me and asked for a number for one of my best friends . He didnt wanna talk to me, he just asked if i had anything to talk about this time, and of course i didnt. So he wanted to go and I waz kinda hurt, we both hung up but no goodbye, nothin. I'm worried I'll never be close to him again. I want him to know how I feel and I want to talk about something interesting so we can talk longer than like 5 min. HEEELP!!

woooow....
27
Problems about friends / ­ Essentials:
« Last post by MaryAnne on November 15, 2006, 08:20:52 PM »
­ Essentials:

Well, I figured it would happen on her end since he "seemed" honorable. I knew there had to be something lacking or he couldn't have feelings for you.
You are a very rare young lady to be so understanding and not let the green-eyed monster in.
He is correct, he is on rebound and I am sure he still has feelings for her. You can't have a relationship and just lose all feelings because the other person betrayed you. They may even get back together a few times but let me assure you of one thing, once betrayal is done it rarely can be mended. Betrayal is the worst of anything we can do to ourselves or to another as it is what everything is built on "trust" and to destroy trust it is very very difficult to ever trust again. I have never seen a couple make it after there was betrayal be it teens or adults. The adults may stay together for other reasons like kids or so many years together but the relationship is never the same. Kids of course can eventually move on being young and it is normal even without betrayal for kids to go in and out of relationships. That is the time in life to experiment so it isn't wrong to be fickle.
I don't know what your true feelings are about guys and how attached you are getting to this guy but try not to forget what you said. He is a free agent right now and the rule is anyone on rebound is not dependable for at least 6 months.
I do think he will stay honest and upfront with you but I worry a little about your heart. I hope you can take it if he does find someone else.
I wouldn't worry about him going back to her as I said it is rare for that to ever last. She is probably your least threat.
If you can just enjoy the time and let what grows grow and what doesn't well you have him for a while.
We are here for you whatever comes. I sure appreciate you keeping me up on what is happening.
Again I think you are quite a young lady and if he is worth anything he should value you and grow to realize you are quite a catch.
I think he sees that some by not pushing the physical so he does have respect for you which is very important because you are worth it.
Just don't give your heart away until he gives his first.
I will be here for you,
Mary-Anne
28
Problems about friends / ­Well. His gf cheated on
« Last post by essentials on November 15, 2006, 06:13:44 PM »
­Well. His gf cheated on him about 2 weeks ago. We hung out the next night. I didn't know they had broekn up until I got there, and he told me what happeend... It was halloween weekend, but there is no excuse for cheating. So anyways, I was there and suppose to go to dance, but he told me he wanted me to stay for a movie because he wanted someone to hang out for a bit cause he didn't go out all day. So i stayed. and then he kissed me... not anything too long. but it was a few more then a peck... then he turned over and said "being responsible adults, we should move slowly because i just came out of a relationship". i thought that was nice of him to say. but i could see in his eyes he sorta felt bad for doing it. so the rest of the night was ok. So then a few days later we talked and he apologized for kissing me. not that he didnt want to, but that he felt weird after because hes not really looking for a gf at the moment. So he is a single good looking guy, and of course he lives on residence, so he has kissed other people and told me that with them its different because its like one night things. and that with them it means nothing cause they were never close friends. he told me he didnt want to do anything more with me, because i am very close to him and doesnt want to ruin soemthing thta may happen. Im not jealous of the people he has kissed and stuff because i have no control over him, and he sees that, i suprised him because of that. he thought i would... so he was like testing me see what i would say. but you see i see it as this "hes single, good looking, every girl wants him, hes at the age he wants attention" so nobody has him on a leash. what happenes is made private. i respect that. so anyways... things are great between us tho, he tells me everything. and is very honest. we hang out every sunday and watch movies, do nothing not even kiss, i love it. it makes me know he respects me. right? i think things are good for now. but like you said time is the only thing that can tell what will happen. but like i say "everything worth while takes time"...
Thank you
29
Problems about friends / ­ Patricia:
« Last post by MaryAnne on October 30, 2006, 12:30:23 AM »
­ Patricia:

Well, I would say since he said all the right things and acted honorably that he is on the up and up. It is hard though because if a guy did that to me it would just make me want him more and know I couldn't have him. Since he is backing up his words with actions by treating you the same it confirms to me that he isn't playing games. He said what an honest and honorable guy should say, which is rare. He didn't run away from his responsibility. He even apologized if he led you on. He sounds really genuine of course time is always the great truth teller but since he came clean, explained his situation but also shared his feelings with you I think you can feel that you have met a rare type of guy and let's just hope you get him some day since he seems to be so rare. At least now you know where he stands, where you stand and if you two ever do get together you can be a little more sure and trusting that he will treat your relationship with the same respect and faithfulness as he is treating the one he is in now. He really sounds like a cool guy. I would continue on if you can without falling to hard for him and be friends. Like I say only time will tell if he really wants to have more with you or if he is satisfied with the g/f he has now. I don't think I can predict because he may be the type of guy that has to have a sure deal and she is a sure deal so even if things are not what he wants he will stay with her. Or because he has found that he has desire for you it will eat at him to where he can't stay with her because he will want to be with you more and more. I just don't know which "type" he falls in to. You could probably take a better guess at that than anyone. I would keep him as a friend, don't do anything to mess with his head because then you could never be sure if you got him because you messed with him or he came of his own free will. It will be hard on you but just let things play out as they should. Then if he comes to you, you can be sure of him. If he doesn't come again it could be more about security and familiarity which the majority of people go for than his having this great love for her and not wanting you that bad. He could want you real bad but just not be secure enough to take the risk.
Enjoy him as a friend, sometimes friendships grow without the person's permission and they find themselves unable to stop the love from coming in, but it never hurts to have another friend #61514;.
Since he was open and honest and so were you don't ruin what you have by playing the girl games even if he weakens and starts to want to do things behind his g/f's back, believe me you will always lose in that one. He must be free when he comes for you that is the only way you will have a trusting and truly loving relationship. So if you can stand it be his friend and let fate take its course. If it is too hard to be “just friends” then tell him and then pull away for a while till you either get over him or are able to deal with just friendship. Don’t be too close or he could become comfortable with having her and you also without being dishonest to either of you. We don’t want him comfortable or he won’t move. So think about it and do what you can handle. But I think he was being straight with you and that is good.
Let us know what happens,
Mary-Anne
30
Teens with family problems / ­ Blondie:
« Last post by MaryAnne on October 30, 2006, 12:11:33 AM »
­ Blondie:

I thank essentials for responding and wish more kids would respond to the forum. If anyone has any insight for Blondie or any other letter on the forum please write. That is what it is up here for, peer feedback, not so much mine as you can get that privately but we all want to know what our peers think so write and help each other. Thank you. MA

I don't have much to add except that I know the feelings you are having and you will have them about many things in life. To feel as you do, you are a very sensitive person which means you will feel the effects of life more than most people. Life is ever changing and people will come in and out of our lives as they are needed and necessary. From experience of being like you I learned it wasn't so bad once I accepted the fact that nothing was permanent including life itself. Things are never as black and white as we imagine them when we feel them before they become a reality. I hate change that is part of the sensitivity I am talking about. I wanted all the same people to stay in my life, in certain roles and everything to stay a certain way. Well of course it didn't as life is ever evolving for everyone and it surely didn't revolve around me :). I use to get so upset at the thought of my parents leaving me, my brother finding a girl and getting married and me ending up all alone. But things don't work quite that harshly. Your sister's life will change of course she will have a husband who will come before you as he should but she will always need you in her life because there are just certain things men can not fulfill for women just as there are some things that women can not fulfill for men. So your sister will always be your best friend and she will confide in you and share things that only another female can understand. When she has children your life should be filled with either work or school and friends but you will still be apart of your sister's life where she will include you in the raising of her children. You will feel apart of them because they will be your blood too :). It will sort of evolve over time to where you will be able to adjust to the changes. But the most important thing to remember is that your life is going to change as you age also and what seemed so important to you now will be in a different perspective as you grow older and your life changes. I promise "life-works" just as it should and that you can learn to adjust to the changes and the changes are not as abrupt or black and white as your fears see them. They evolve over time where you can handle the changes and the changes won't be as painful as you imagine them or as extreme as you imagine.
But the most important part is that as you grow up you will also have life changes which will make other people's life changes not so important to you to where you get so upset.
Last but not least talk to your sister and just tell her how important your relationship with her is and how you hope she will help you keep the relationship as close as possible after she marries. Just tell her how you feel and ask her how she sees things changing after she marries. She is your best friend so you should be able to talk to her about this. I think if you do you will find she will reassure you and lessen your fears. Try it you have nothing to lose.
Let us know what happens and if you can see how things won't be as abrupt as you imagine.
Just know I know how you feel but it will turn out ok because your life evolves too in time all changes settle down and we do adapt to them. We can choose to make the best of the new life change brings or we can choose to make it a hardship which is of no use as we all want happiness, peace and love. To get these gifts from life we must be open to change and remember it will be us sometimes and sometimes the other person but it all balances out and works out.
Talk to your sister, let us know how it goes,
Mary-Anne
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