Hi.
First off i want to assure you that no, there is nothing wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with crying and feeling emotional. I can understand your concern as society tells us that 'boys dont cry'. However crying is not a weakness and 'sucking in' your emotions, as u put it, is not healthy. Crying and getting your emotions out is important, however, it is important to be able to face conflict without getting so upset and taking it so personal.
Conflicts with other people are just a fact of life and will arise many times through out your life whether it be with your brother, boss, future mother in law- whoever!u will have them.
The first and most important thing i can ever suggest is DONT TAKE ANYTHING PERSONAL! now i know what your thinking, easier said than done! But believe me, if someone is yelling at you and is just down right mean and nasty, that is how they feel inside. what people give out is what they are feeling on the inside. Someone who is happy and at peace does not yell at others and say nasty things to them. So when someone does have a go at you, realize that it is something within themselves which they are dealing with.
So try to learn to stand back, not take anything they say personal and remember that the way they are acting is what they are feeling on the inside. also, just because someone says something, it doesnt make it true.You know what is true, dont believe their rubbish. people who are miserable want to bring others down with them. if they cant be happy then they dont want others to be happy. so remember this before you take what your brother says to heart and let it upset you.
And when your brother picks a fight with you, walk away! you dont have to engage in the argument and retaliate-thats what he wants!You cant get sucked into his fights unless you let yourself be. its as simple as ignoring him and walking away and saying to yourself, im not going to participate in this fight, im not going to take anything you say personal-just because u feel misersable, im not going to let you take me down too.
So you can use this through the whole of your life, with any conflict that arises. If you can learn to do this, it will save you alot of pain and heart ache.
So i hope this has helped you and you have understood what i have written. if you have any questions or would like me to clarify on anything, please write back.
Take care.
*Tina*