Dear Skahn;
First I would like to apologise for how long it has taken me to reply. Mary-Anne asked me to reply to your letter as she is overloaded with work and then my internet crashed. So here it is!
I see you love and care for your boyfriend very much. You seem really upset because he says that he doesn’t know if he can love or trust you like he used to. You feel that he is upset because you keep telling him how wonderful your guy friends are. Well I am glad that you have close male friends, they are really important to have. And im sure your boyfriend is glad you have them too. I know you are very honest with each other, but there is no need to tell him every minute of the day how great you guy friends are. See guys can get very jealous and insecure when It comes to girls. I’m sure if I kept going telling my boyfriend how great my guy friends are all the time that he would start to get a little jealous and suspicious too. Do you tell your boyfriend how great and cool he is? How often do you tell your boyfriend how much you love his personality? He may be feeling a little left out.
He said that he is finding it hard to trust you or love you like he used to. I think you need to talk to him about that and find out why. Find out if it is just because of all the talking you were doing about your guy friends was making him jealous, or if it is something else. You have been with him a long time and say you are both very honest with each other. Well if that is the case, I think now more than any is a crucial time for you two to sit and be completely honest with each other.
I know you don’t want to lose him, so hopefully by talking and working things out you two can continue your relationship together. If your boyfriend feels that he no longer wants to be in a relationship with you, I know it will hurt, but there’s nothing you can do. You can’t make him want to be with you. You can’t make someone love and trust you, that has to come from them. It comes in time. I know it will hurt, but the only thing you can do is accept things for the way they are.
One last thing I want to leave with you. It’s very important to have an open honest relationship with someone. However it is also important to leave some things for yourself. I’m not talking about lying, im talking about just having some things to yourself. Leave some mystery between you. You don’t need to tell them everything. Sometimes the truth does more harm than good and some things really are better left unsaid. There is a time where the truth is needed and times where it is just cruel to say. So try to be a little careful with what you choose to tell certain people. It is always wise to use some discretion in what you share.
Good luck with it all, I hope it all works out for you.
Take care.
*Tina*
