­ Dear MaryAnne,
Hello, My name is Abby and I am in a weird situation. I am in high school and this problem is with relationships and guys. See, over the summer I was going oiut with this guy I met in track and he was great but we ended up breaking up sorda rough so didn't talk for awhile then abotu a month ago I saw him at the mall and he came up to me and we talked and some sparks were there. He told me that he would call em the next time he is home from college and we would get together. Well in the mean time....I had made plans to go out with this other guy in my school. The night I was to go out with this other guy my ex calls and wants to do something with me, I told him I have plans already with this guy and I can't cancel but if he comes home next weekend we would do something. He agreed and I went out with the other guy. Well I had a good time with this other guy and thought mayeb there was something there because it was the first guy I went out with that I didn't compare to my ex. Well the next weekend rolls around and just as friends me and my ex went out and we ended up kissing and yes there was still something there but I think it might just be because he was my first real relationship! I am confused and don't know what to do. I feel both the guys have their ups and downs and basicly they are both good people I just don't where to go ferom here. They both have said to like me and I need to decide because its not right to lead both them on. I need help to decide what to do and how to let one of them down because I still want to be friends with which ever one I don't have a relationship. I understand at first there may be weird feelings but I really need some advice here. Thank you and please write me back.

­ Abby:

I say don’t let them make you decide anything. Who is going to run your life them or you. If you have feelings for both then you should see both of them. You are not stringing them along. They both know about each other. As long as you stay fair and they know what the deal is then it is up to them to decide if they like you enough that they want to be with you. This way you will not even have to choose if they care for you and want to be with you they will take you as you are. Which is what you want anyway. If one doesn’t stay well there is your answer to that one. If the both go away well again they sure didn’t like you that much and they would have gone soon anyway. Nope Abby, you be you always and don’t let anyone give you ultimatums about your feelings as long as you are being honest and up front and not just on an ego trip. You genuinely like them both so date them both. Eventually you will know which one, you care about or you may find you don’t feel that much about either of them. That is what your teen years are for to find out about your feelings and what they mean to you. Date who and as many guys as you want, as long as you are not doing anything sexually or deceptive have a good time. You aren’t engaged to them. They have no rights over you and they are free to walk anytime they want so why are they putting this condition on you anyway, ego Abby.
Don’t go for it. Stay who you are let them make up their own minds and when you are ready in your own time, your own way you will make up your mind. This formula works in every area of your life. Do not let others dictate to you what you will and won’t do. You stay in control over your life and as long as you are not doing anything wrong or harming anyone then you are definitely being an independent self thinking adult which is what you want to end up being.
OK good luck and I hope you take my advice. Please write and tell me what happens.
I care and would like to know,
Also if you need me I am here for you,
MaryAnne