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giulty conscience....i need advice
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* July 12, 2004, 04:48:22 AM
­ hi people...i need help. i feel very guilty and i need help...
ok heres the story....
well my friend had been complaining about wanting a boyfriend and there are these two guys that have been her friend since they were little.. (shez 14... now) and she wants one of them to be her boyfriend...
she decided she'd choose the one who asked her first...and she asked me for help...so i ananomously told them...u know... and one of the boys(x) asked her and they became 'one'.
[we go to a girls school and her 'bf' goes to a boys school next to our school and we go home the same way...one day me and my friend ended up on the same bus as him and when we got off her walked behind all his friends as if waiting for her and she kept on walking ahead... i told her to go to him and she kept saying no...then i pushed her over and they talked...*at least thats what i thought*...and when they reached his house they said bye...my friend raced to me and hit me and she looked really angry... she told me they didnt talk much... she told me that next time they walked, i have to walk with them and i said no n she said that she wont talk to him if i dont but i still said no...after a few days they talked alot....but on chat...no talkin face to face.. he even said 'man i soooo love you' on chat ...but all she said was oh....theres also this other problem...he's not supposed to have a girlfriend until highschools over so he's risking loads....] ok...well the MAIN problem is....my friends being asking me if i think her other friend (Y) likes her. i asked her why and she said she likes (y)... she also said she as going to play around with (x) to see if (y) likes her...she said shes going to pretend she likes (x) to get through to (y) because (x) and (y) are close friends. I told her she shouldn't be doing that because he’s going through all this trouble and he really likes her and its mean…she wont listen to me…she even tells me everything they talk about…I tell her I don't wanna get involved but she doesn't listen….im scared someone will get hurt…. And I need help …im really worried and I don't know what to do…I know I can just forget it all but I think im in it too deep and they are both my friends ….i feel so guilty and at the same time nosy and really interfering …please help me….

Thanx
Hana

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July 14, 2004, 01:07:27 AM
#1
­ Hana:

You do know what the right thing to do is or you wouldn't feel guilty. IF you were doing the right thing you would be OK with how this is all unfolding but you don't. You know it is wrong. What you are afraid of is losing your g/f because she will blame you no matter what. What kind of best friend is that anyway putting you in the middle of something so mean. We all have to stand sometime in our lives and take consequences we don't like though we know we are standing for the right thing. Now you either keep a selfish, cold friend who doesn't seem to care about anyone's feelings but her own or you do the honorable thing. You give her first option that is she tells "X" the truth or you will. But she is not just hurting "X" she is hurting "Y" and you that is three people all 3 who she is supposed to have feelings for especially you Hana.
It is tough yeah but you know exactly what you need to do and I think if you stop and look at this girl she isn't your friend and someday she is going to do you in so what have you got to lose? But you have a lot you can do to save your friends who don't deserve this kind of treatment, how would she like it done to her?
Standing alone is scary I have been there, most people reading this have too but at the end of the day Hana you have to be able to live with yourself so what will get rid of your guilt? The answer to that question is what you need to do and soon. Friends, people will come and go in your life but you have to live with you for the rest of your life. Search your soul and remember guilt is a calling card to tell you that you are going against yourself in some way. Now you have to be one with yourself first so do what ever the answer is that will get rid of your guilt.
I will support you and be here for you whatever you decide to do and you can write back for help, support or just to know that you are not alone because you aren't. You will have to make these kinds of decisions your whole life so you might as well get use to them. We all have to have convictions, ethics, morals and an honor code and they are not easy to live by but if you do at least you can always like yourself and never feel regret or guilt and as an adult I can tell you that is worth everything. You can't ever take something back so live by your honor code so you don't have to live with regret.
Let me know what you decide is the right thing to do and I will help you in any way I can,
"To thine own self be true."
Mary-Anne

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