­Hey! I have a problem and it about to worry me to death. My girlfriend has kinda lost intrest in me lately and I have finally gotten her to tell me that she is tired of doing the same thing...like usually I will go over to her house or she will come to mine or we will go out to eat. My ma said that she should be happy that she even gets to see me. I agree with my ma because no matter what we do I am happy I get to spend time with her but it seems like she doesn't enjoy doing the "Same Thing" which kinda makes me wonder if she is getting tired of me or bored with me. How can I find out, or what should I do, because she says she still loves me as much but I dont know if she really means it or if she is saying that because she has become so attached to me she doesn't want to lose me altogether.

­ Duck Hunter:

Sorry I don't believe your mother really feels that way, she has just forgot because no one is doing the things I am going to tell you to her. We all want more than just to sit there with someone, we all want to feel special, flirted with, memories made, sharing new things together, well we all want to live life. Why should she be "lucky" just to see you? She is not a piece of furniture that is stagnate. There is life going on outside. I hope I want change, to do things, see different things, try different things, feel different things until the day I die. Gosh what fun is just sitting around doing the same ol same ol what does she even need you for to do that? She is a young woman well even if she wasn't and she was your male friend do you do the same thing every time forever with your male friend? God he would get tired of it too if you did it every day, same thing believe me he would go get some new friends. But she is a young woman and you love her so why wouldn't you want to be doing things with her anyway? You act like two 80 year old married people the way you describe what you do together. This is life, you only get it once. Go do things, laugh, play, find things that you never have tried before, find things you have tried before and like. Go see new things, to out with friends together. Now, that is taking care of the simple just get off your butt and live life, let's get to a relationship with a girl part. She wants attention that is natural it is a part of who we are. She wants to get dressed up and looking good for you sometimes but she has to have some where to go to do that. She wants to flirt with you and tease you and fall in love with you over and over again. That is just a sample of what it takes to make a relationship. Relationships don't just sit there, you have to work at them, take time to make them grow and keep them exciting and that is how love grows. Don't ever stop and assume a relationship "just is." Again it is not a piece of furniture. A relationship is or should be a growing, changing, interesting, exciting and emotionally charged energy between two people who fall in love and want to keep that love strong and alive. Everything dies if it is not nurtured, loved, fed, watered and time spent helping it grow. That is why we have so many unhappy marriages and 50% divorce rate in this country relationships take time and dedication to pleasing the love you have Duck Hunter and if you love someone it shouldn't be work and you should never stop finding things to do to please the person you love. Now at your stage of the relationship which is far from marriage I hope, it should be taking her out places, doing different things together, joining friends and going out together, talking lovingly to her, teasing her,flirting with each other forever I hope, laughing, finding things to enjoy together, talking about your feelings, your problems, what she is feeling or just getting to know each other because believe it or not it takes a life time to get to really know someone else. You don't just meet, decide you love each other and then settle into some routine you won't have a girlfriend very long if you treat her that way. Bottom line a relationship is never done and just there you have to keep it alive Duck Hunter and that is what keeps the love alive and growing. Life and love are alive and must be kept alive or they will die without being cared for.
So, tell mom I disagree with her and I think if your mother could have it the way I describe or the way you describe she would pick my way because she is a woman too and we all like to be treated the way I discribed and so do men so please don't let me exclude men they love it too. We all love to be in love and to feel all the feelings that go along with being in love and that takes more than just being happy to be with someone. You are young you have so much fun to have, so much to feel and if you love this girl you need to spend time showing her, sharing more than your time with her and making her feel like she is special. Remember the more you show her the more she will show you and you will feel so good too and then you will know how she feels about you without question.
Let me know I would like to know what you think and if you want your relationship to last.
I am glad you wrote before you just thought there was nothing more to relationships. As this applies for the rest of your life, when you grow up, if you want a relationship that is real, lasting and really filled with love for life when you marry you never stop nurturing it and spending your time showing the other person how you feel and trying to please them.
Remember let me know what you do,
MaryAnne