Fez:
Hope you had a safe and happy thanksgiving. Sorry but the holidays put everything behind and lots of letters coming in. Holidays don't seem to be a good time a year for lots of people. Anyway on to you and your broken heart. I don't know that there is a way to hurry the process of getting over your g/f. I found that only time and getting back into life are the only two things that ever worked as far as mending a broken heart. You say that you have broken up before, is it that you are holding on hoping that you will get back together again since this has happened before? If you are then I would sure act on it and call or email her and find out if there is anything left on her part where she would be willing to try to see if you two could talk things out and get back together. I wouldn't sit around and play a guessing or waiting game I would get in touch with her and find out what is up with her and what she feels. Then if there is absolutely no hope on her end time and the help of friends is what will get you through it. Being on the outside looking in I can tell you that IF there is nothing left and she doesn't want to ever get back together again, the best way to help getting over her is to sit down with yourself and think about what went wrong. I think you will find that there was a lot wrong with the relationship and in the end you will find that it wouldn’t have worked long term anyway. We tend to only look at what we did wrong and see the other person as perfect and make ourselves feel bad. This then makes us feel we lost the best thing we could ever have gotten. When in reality there was a lot the other person did wrong and lots of things we did right but the other person took for granted and didn’t appreciate us. So if I were you I would first make sure there is nothing left on her part and that there is no hope of ever getting back together. You need to know that and know if there is any reason to keep hoping or not. Because this has happened before I think you are still hoping and this is going to keep you from ever getting past her. So be prepared for the worst answer but do it find out and be sure from “her” and if she says she doesn’t have it for you any more then you know. Ok, let’s take the worst there is no hope left. Now to help time and your heart to heal sit down and realistically look at why the relationship ended and see it for what it really was. Because Fez if something is so perfect and meant to be it wouldn’t have ended so there were things wrong and there are definite reasons why she isn’t the right girl for you and you should move on. Once you can really see the relationship for what it was and all that shows it would end anyway , then you can get strong, not feel like you have lost anything because it wouldn’t have lasted and it wouldn’t have been a happy and loving relationship no matter what you did. Knowing this will free you to realize that you still have the right girl out there to meet. This should give you the hope and excitement to get out and start dating or at least hanging out with your friends soon so you can find the right girl that will give you a happy and loving relationship. We only get depressed and stuck on the past when we think we have lost the right person. I promise you Fez if she were the right girl it would not end and you would get back together and things would go really good and you both would be happy and full of love for each other. When you meet the right girl you will have that and that means you still have plenty reason to be “up” and get back out there and forget Ms. Wrong and the past. Move on with the present, go to parties, out with friends, meet new girls that are more in line with what you want and need in a girl. Play the field for a while until the right girl comes along. Fate is for real believe me. When it is right it will work and you will know you are with the right girl. Trust in what happens. It never works if you have to “make” it work. It should come natural and when it does it will work for you. This is the best way to look at a break up. If it was the right girl it wouldn’t happen like this and time will take care of the pain. Also do a reality check on how the relationship really was and that there must have been something wrong with it or you wouldn’t be broken up. See the positive that the right girl is still out there for you so see hope and be excited about your new adventure in finding the right girl. Go out have fun let what comes natural come and let go of the past trust in what happens and know that when you are with the right girl it will work and your heart won’t be broken. You have every reason to be hopeful and to trust when someone is right for you it will happen and when someone isn’t right for you let them go because it wouldn’t last or work right in the end anyway.
Let me know what happens and what you do. Let me know what happens when you find out if it is over for real and then how you handle moving on and letting the right girl in.
I hope this helps.
Mary-Anne
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