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Problem with mother
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* February 17, 2003, 06:02:47 PM
­I have been in a relationship with my de facto wife for 4 years. I am now just 13 weeks from the completion of my degree studies and will be taking another step into life. However, I am currently studying overseas in Australia (I'm orginally from Singapore), and I have just been granted a Permanent VISA by the Australian government due to my qualifications and my relationship with my de facto wife who is Australian. I am really looking forward to going on for further studies (part-time) and finding a real and stable job here in Australia, but my mum back in Singapore would like me to
go back as soon as I finish my undergraduate studies. She doesn't know that I have been granted a permanent visa. She suffers from anxiety disorder and as a result have developed afew phobias over the years. This include the fear of abandonment, fear of confinement, random and uncontrollable panic attacks and minor obsessive compulsive behaviour. As far as I can remember,
she has had these condition way back since I was a little kid as she had a tough/poor childhood and my dad is consistently away due to business trips.

It's not like she is all alone and poor in Singapore because my dad is still around and my elder brother lives at home. I have also made her visit a psychiatrist to treat her emotional disorders. My delima is should I go back to Singapore and forgo my own dreams of higher qualifications, money and a more relaxed life-style and be with my de facto wife here in Australia; or should I just go back to Singapore for my mum's sake? What steps should I take to convince her that I am not going back to Singapore not because I
don't love her any more?

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